She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
