My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want nice things and good sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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