Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
