She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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