I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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