Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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