So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
