i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
