I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
