Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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