It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
