A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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