Jerry, you need to find god
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
