i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Randomize
