my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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