I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
