somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
