I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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