she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
