ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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