I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
