This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
