Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
