I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
