Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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