We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We talked him into tasing himself.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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