I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my being single is dangerous.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
