ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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