Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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