I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
