new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
