Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
the night ended with taco bell and tears
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
