I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
