I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize