If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
