Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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