wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
