He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
