I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
