She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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