He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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