And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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