She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
