Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
