Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
