Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Someone shattered a urinal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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