I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Mom said you looked used
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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