508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
