I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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