There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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